Round Pizza Should Not Be Cut Into Squares

If there is one thing about Ohio that makes it ass-backwards, it is that many pizza places both chain and independent alike cut their round pizzas into squares. It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, aside from the fact that it makes the pizza difficult and awkward to hold (an issue easily solved by the use of a fork and knife), it completely throws off the pizza to crust ratio. Inevitably one person winds up with more pizza than crust, which just isn't fair and that does affect the taste off the pizza, anyone who thinks otherwise is just fooling themselves.


This is one of those things that make me irrationally angry. We are going to order Hound Dog's pizza tonight, which Andy says is very good. I was incredibly disappointed to read that they cut their pizza into squares. However, at least I know now that that when I order it to be delivered, I can request that they do not cut it at all. If it arrives cut into squares, I will tip the delivery person (because I refuse to punish her for someone else's mistake) and tell her to take the pizza back.

I'm completely serious.

Apparently, this approach to pizza originated in St. Louis, where pizza is so thin it breaks if it is folded. I suppose that cutting the pizza into squares alleviates that problem, however, anything too thin to fold has no business calling itself pizza. Chicago pizza is foldable, it would just be incredibly messy to do so. Even if I were to accept that as an explanation, it still does not solve the problem of the aforementioned pizza to crust ratio. Further, upon examining photographs of St. Louis style pizza, there happens to be a distinct border-crust even if it is smaller than those of Chicago and New York-styled (read "real") pizza.

Atlanta, how I will miss thee.

This past weekend, we packed and moved the rest of my belongings. While in Atlanta, we took the opportunity to eat at many of our favorite restaurants. If there is anything that I will miss about Atlanta it's the food. We arrived on Friday morning exhausted from the overnight drive. We put breakfast off for about two hours because we had to wait for Erin's moving company to arrive. When they finally did arrive, there was much confusion and work and I had that sickly tired feeling one gets after being up all evening. However, once I realized that I was hungry, I became very hungry. I sent Andy to Alon's for one of their amazing roast beef sandwiches.

The moving men finally finished around 8:05, making us a little late for our reservation at The Floataway Cafe, but this was not a problem. The food there was, as usual, amazing. I had a berry infused gin drink, which is unusual for me because I don't like gin, but it had lime and blackberries and I felt that I had to try it. It was very good, not something I want to drink more of, but I did enjoy it. Andy had a glass of the Bourgogne Pinot Noir, 2004 (or so he thinks). For a starter I had the tomato and mozzarella salad, which was amazing. I really do not like fresh tomatoes unless I am certain that they are locally grown. Nothing ruins a tomato more than jet lag. This was was amazing. Now that my mandolin is here, I am going to get fresh tomatoes at the farmer's market next week and make that salad for dinner. Last week's chopped fresh tomatoes with basil was very good, but the sliced presentation with the cheese somehow makes it taste better. For dinner I had the corn and mushroom risotto and Andy had the wood-oven roasted rack of pork with butter beans and pink-eyed peas. The pork was amazing. The risotto was very good, but not exactly what I was expecting. For dessert we had brown sugar-lime cake with lime curd and blueberry sorbet and soft-serve ice-cream with chocolate sauce and toasted hazelnuts with chocolate chip cookies. The desserts were amazing. With dessert Andy drank Grahams Tawney port and I had a cappacino.

On Saturday morning we had coffee and scones from Caribou. While not exactly prime Atlanta fare, it was nice to see my favorite baristas. For lunch we ate at the Vortex. I had the tex-melt, a cheese burger served on Texas toast with cheddar and barbeque sauce. I like mine without the fried jalapenos. Andy had a patty melt. I don't like their patty melts because they seem to lack a basic patty melt feature, which is flatness. We didn't have any alcohol because we had far too much left to do. That evening we ate at Noche with Elizabeth and Mike, and my neighbors, Jessica and David. I was really disappointed to learn that they have taken the grilled shrimp and masa dish off the menu and seemingly replaced it with a shrimp, chorizo, and grits dish. I tried a bite of Jessica's. It wasn't horrible, but it's not something I would order. After dinner we had gelato from Paolo's.

On Sunday morning Andy was supposed to leave after breakfast at the Flying Biscuit but his car wouldn't start. Jenna and Christ picked us up and after trying, unsuccessfully, to jump start the car, we ate breakfast. I had iced coffee and biscuits with sausage gravy and cheesy grits. Andy had the pancakes with chocolate chips. It was technically my turn to treat, but Chris insisted on picking up the bill given the car troubles. We arranged for a two truck around 1:30, but then miraculously at 2, the car started again. It was too late for Andy to leave and for dinner we had Thai food at . Andy had beef short ribs with massaman curry and I had spicy basil noodles with tofu. We got some dark chocolate laceys at Whole Foods, which Andy did not care for at all. He wound up with some Dove cookies.

Recipe Review

This week I made three recipes from our new cookbook, The South Beach Diet Taste of Summer Cookbook by Arthur Agatston. Actually, it was more like two and a half since I replaced the beef in the beef satay with peanut sauce with tofu. I also made seared tempeh with three bean salad and garlicky chicken with grilled zucchini and eggplant. For the latter I did not make the eggplant since it makes my mouth burn and Andy doesn't particularly like it either. I would make all of these again regardless of whether we were following the first phase of the South Beach plan as we are now. The peanut sauce was quick and easy and I am looking forward to making the satay with beef sometime. The three bean salad was very good. The only problem is that it did not specify what kind of white bean and we chose Navy Beans based on a quick comparison of fiber content. This beans were a little too small and soft and while tasty, I think that next time we'll use cannellini beans as indicated by many classic three bean salad recipes.

I am not quite ready to post a full review of the book. Generally, I use the three recipe test to determine if the book was a good buy or not. While I can say that I am happy to have the book now that I've used it three times, I don't feel qualified to comment on it with respect to the range of recipes.

Bar Harbor/Acadia Part II: Lunch

By far the best lunch that Andy and I enjoyed all week was at the Jordan Pond House Restaurant on their expansive lawn overlooking a lake, bike trail, and mountains (specifically, the "Bubbles") in the national park. Almost everything comes with their famous popovers (served with butter and strawberry preserves) and Andy and I had a grilled chicken sandwich and a bowl of tomato bisque respectively. The soup was tasty but not spectacular. I got to have two popovers which is good because I put Andy in charge of ordering the dessert and instead of ordering the popover a la mode that I secretly wanted, he got the blueberry crisp which turned out to be phenomenal. I opted not to buy popover mix and rather, intend to find a popover recipe on my own. Finally, the restaurant had the best approach to lemonade that I've seen to date. Freshly squeezed, with or without fruit (Andy had strawberry and I had raspberry) and it comes unsweetened with simple syrup on the side so that individuals can control how sweet they want their 'ade to be. Brilliant I say!

Andy and I packed several lunches, but ate out on one occasion. After our Whale Watch and Puffin Tour we took advantage of the Early Bird Specials at the West Street Cafe and Grill. I had a cup of lobster bisque (the only way I can stand lobster) and Haddock Au Gratin. The bisque was super creamy and while the haddock was good but I would have felt better if I had salad. The combination of the cheesy fish and bisque made for some dairy overload which was not in any way helped by the french fries that came with. Andy ate steak tips and fries, which were decent, but not special.

One day I dropped Andy off to go birdwatching and then I stopped at Seawall Grill and Ice-Cream and ordered their lobster bisque. It was quite different from the one I had at the West Street Cafe and Grill. This one was less creamy and had more lobster btis (both edible and otherwise). It had far more flavor than the other one.

Finally, on our last day, we took a long drive around the island and stopped at the Tan Turtle, initially for a quick drink and to pee, but we ordered lunch too. I ignored my long held rule regarding lemonade: If promised free-refills, avoid. Indeed, the lemonade came with refills and as I epected was exactly the kind of lemonade that is cheap enough to allow for free refills. Otherwise my beefstro salad with thai peanut sauce was good (although, I think I would avoid mixing that particular dressing and blue cheese in the future). Andy had the duck breast quesesilla, which was alright. I am not certain if duck breast belongs in a quesedilla. I will have to inquire about that particular combination elsewhere.

Bar Harbor/Acadia Part I: Breakfast

As expected, Andy and I spent a good deal of our honeymoon eating. Our cottage had a kitchenette so we were able to save some, but by no means a lot, of money by making our own breakfast and coffee and packing lunches. We are not lobstah eaters in general, but I had a couple of bowls of lobster bisque. Instead, our Maine food of choice is blueberries. These reviews are organized into three parts, Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner/Dessert.

We ate two breakfasts in Bar Harbor (although there were many coffee stops throughout the week all over the island). The first was a light meal at Morning Glory Bakery on Monday. We both had coffee. Andy had a walnut cranberry scone and I had a mushroom, asparagus, and bacon quiche that, although not heated all the way through, was very tasty. The bakery was a treat itself and reminded me of the one run by Maggie Gyllenhaal's character in Stranger than Fiction with the employees sporting tattoos and punk rock hairstyles.

The second breakfast was on Friday at The Two Cats Inn and Restaurant. This could very well be The Flying Biscuit's Yankee cousin. Andy had raspberry almond pancakes, spicy sausage, and hot coffee. I had eggs benedict (on a biscuit), a single blueberry pancake, and iced coffee. The hollandaise sauce was thinner than I expected and very lemony, which I liked very much. Overall, the food was wonderful but the service left much to be desired. Our waitress was simply terrible. As customers go, Andy and I are very easy going. As long as our coffee and water cups remain filled, waitstaff tend to fade into the background and we very rarely tip less than 20%. I was also not impressed by the woman who came to bus the table. When I mentioned that the eggs were very good, she merely shrugged me off. Andy mentioned that she may not have spoken English, which makes her reaction somewhat understandable. I don't particularly enjoy waitstaff who are super friendly, but I don't like being treated like an inconvenience. The experience was saved by the work of a very attentive waiter who procured coffee refills and ketchup for us.


Morning Glory Bakery
Food Quality: 8
Atmosphere: 9
Service: 9
Value: 8

Two Cats Inn and Restaurant
Food Quality: 9
Atmosphere: 9
Service: 6
Value: 8

A Tale of Two Sandwiches

It was the best of textures, it was the worst of textures, it was an hour of savory flavour, it was an hour of soggy blandness, it was an appetizing moment, it was an inedible moment, it was the colour of contrasts, it was the colour of conformity, it was the lunch of pleasure, it was the meal of dissatisfaction, we had freshness before us, we had french "fries" before us, we were dining amongst family, we were positioned aside strangers - in short, the food in so many ways reflected the atmosphere in which it was recieved, the intersection of politics and culinary prowess rendered transparent in these moments that we could only express our displeasure in the outlandlish language of hyperbole.

From the sign hanging outside that indicated a S.A.P Free (no smoking, alcohol, and profanilty) atmosphere, we should have known that the Jubilee Diner in Friendsville, Maryland was not for people like us. As soon as I entered, I knew that it was going to be a bad experience. For a brief moment, I considered turning up my nose and refusing to eat there, preferring some trail mix or a Zone bar from the next BP station. I should have stuck with that. Had this "diner" been a greasy spoon in I might have enjoyed the experience on the level of nostalgic Americana. But really I was creeped out by the Christian music and the fact that it was Fox news on the television in the corner. Sadly, the "diner's" attempts at creating a nostalgic feel involved little more than hanging record albums and images from 1950's television programs on the walls. This was not retro-aesthetics; this was Republican longing for a mythic past at its best. Perhaps I am exagerrating. However, had the food been any good, I am certain I could have forgiven the political inclinations of the "diner's" proprietors.

I ordered a hot turkey sandwich with home-made french fries and hushpuppies. I don't like hushpuppies, but the other options were cole slaw, applesauce, and cottage cheese. The sandwich was just horrible. I don't even know why I ate most of it. The gravy was bland, the turkey was dry and chewy, the french fries were soggy and tasted of generic cooking oil. The hushpuppies were pretty terrible as well. Andy's chicken fingers were terribly sad. Ruth and Bill's salads were covered with these home made french "fries." Enough said.

We were passing through Friendsville, Maryland on the way to Andy's cousin's graduation on Shepherdstown, West Virginia. On Saturday we met for lunch at The Blue Moon Cafe. Upon entering the establishment I immediately felt at ease. They advertised vegan breakfasts and had shelves of used books and trivial pursuit cards. These were "our kind" of folks, I felt assured. I ordered an iced coffee and a roast beef sandwich with feta, tomatoes, and lettuce on toasted ciabatta bread. As if the universe felt immeasurable guilt for the previous day's sandwich travesty, this place served the second best fucking roast beef sandwich I have ever had (the first being from Alon's). My only regret is that I forgot to ask for the peanut noodles on the side. Nevertheless, the bagged potato chips they served were far, FAR superior to the homemade french soggies from the Jubilee.

At the very least, the bad sandwich inspired me to add "hot turkey sandwiches" to my list of things to make when Andy and I are married and settled into our new apartment.

Strangest Jamaican Jerk Ever

Last night I did something truly unprecedented. I sent my jamaican jerk chicken wings back to the kitchen because I after attempting to eat them, I couldn't have them near me. I really wanted to like them, but it was just impossible. I had a feeling something was very wrong when they arrived. Even my friend Mike noted the incredibly strong smell of rosemary. Rosemary? The best way to describe them is that they were over-spiced. Not too spicy, but over-spiced. The jerk sauce that I make is a mild sauce, the most prominent flavor being nutmeg (but just barely). My sauce is not the best, but I believe that it approaches the taste of a good jerk sauce. These wings, however, went above and beyond, landing someplace more akin to pot-pourri than anything edible.

So now my curiosity is piqued and I am looking through all my favorite recipe sites in an attempt to discover, not the genesis of this particular jerk recipe, but something that might explain what the chef was attempting. Last night's chicken appeared to be encrusted with something other than the usual nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves, and allspice. Probably rosemary, as Mike indicated. The jamaican "jerk" wing and other jerk recipes on epicurious.com as well as the encyclopedia on allrecipes.com indicate thyme as one of the spices used but not rosemary. Perhaps it was a liberty taken by this particular chef.

This is a mystery.

I was still hungry when the waitress took the wings away, but no longer wanting chicken or anything savory or spicy for that matter. I went for sweet and ordered the bread pudding with bailey's irish cream sauce and a scoop of vanilla ice-cream, which more than made up for the wings. The pudding was exactly the texture that I like, not too dense or soggy. Last night's culinary adventure, however, has led me to wonder if a menu consisting of jamacain jerk chicken with bread pudding for dessert would have too many conflicting flavors. I imagine that an appropriate dessert to accompany jamaican jerk would be fruitier than bread pudding. There is a bread pudding recipe with a spiced rum sauce, but that may be overdoing it as well. Thus I think that last night's "meal" has inspired two separate menus:

Menu one:
Jamaican jerk chicken with sticky rice
Vegetable kabobs
Sliced Peaches

Menu two:
Vegetarian pasties with mushroom gravy
Steamed, crunchy broccoli
Bread pudding with warm bourbon sauce and ice-cream

Tyler Florence is Puffy Now

I remember when he wasn't so puffy. Foodsnobs moan and complain that he lent his name to Appleby's, but I still haven't s forgotten when Mr. Florence claimed that there is simple syrup in a Cosmopolitan. Bad Tyler! No Fajitas! I am still waiting for an apology.

It seems to me that when it comes to Rachel Ray, there are two kinds of people in the world, those who hate her and those who don't know who she is. Interestingly, I remain conflicted. On the one hand, I appreciate her homey and efficient approach to cooking. 30-Minute Meals makes unconventional flavors and creative cooking accessible to those who lack the time, money, patience, and confidence it takes to recreate the likes of Emeril or Wolfgang Puck. (Of course, she is hardly the only one who does this.) On the other, I find $40 a Day and Inside Dish to be characterized by an enthusiasm that is unifectious at best. At some point Ray realized that she became "Rachel Ray" and that is never a good thing.

Without going into a lot of detail, for now I give you my Top and Bottom Television Chefs, the reasons for which will be made clear as time goes on.

E.B's Top 5

*

5. Wolfgang Puck

4. Nigella Lawson

3. Jamie Oliver

2. Mario Batali

1. Alton Brown

*****

E.B.'s Bottom Ten

*

5. Gale Gand

4. Emeril Lagasse

3. Paula Deen

2. Giada De Laurentiis

1. Bobby Flay