Round Pizza Should Not Be Cut Into Squares

If there is one thing about Ohio that makes it ass-backwards, it is that many pizza places both chain and independent alike cut their round pizzas into squares. It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, aside from the fact that it makes the pizza difficult and awkward to hold (an issue easily solved by the use of a fork and knife), it completely throws off the pizza to crust ratio. Inevitably one person winds up with more pizza than crust, which just isn't fair and that does affect the taste off the pizza, anyone who thinks otherwise is just fooling themselves.


This is one of those things that make me irrationally angry. We are going to order Hound Dog's pizza tonight, which Andy says is very good. I was incredibly disappointed to read that they cut their pizza into squares. However, at least I know now that that when I order it to be delivered, I can request that they do not cut it at all. If it arrives cut into squares, I will tip the delivery person (because I refuse to punish her for someone else's mistake) and tell her to take the pizza back.

I'm completely serious.

Apparently, this approach to pizza originated in St. Louis, where pizza is so thin it breaks if it is folded. I suppose that cutting the pizza into squares alleviates that problem, however, anything too thin to fold has no business calling itself pizza. Chicago pizza is foldable, it would just be incredibly messy to do so. Even if I were to accept that as an explanation, it still does not solve the problem of the aforementioned pizza to crust ratio. Further, upon examining photographs of St. Louis style pizza, there happens to be a distinct border-crust even if it is smaller than those of Chicago and New York-styled (read "real") pizza.